Too soon to quit
Have you ever felt like quitting?
· Giving up?
· Giving in?
· Weary?
· Overwhelmed?
Have you ever felt like you were out of options and the best solution for your circumstance was to go in another direction? Having “faith” to hang in there was starting to feel more like a cliché than an actual solution to your problem? If you answered yes, then you may be able to relate to what I am about to share. I recently felt this way. Let me take you back.
About four weeks ago this was my reality. I wish desperately I did not have to acknowledge that I was growing weary in well doing, but I was. It felt like things were closing in around me. Financially, things were desperate. We were five payments behind on our house so another foreclosure notice. Denton’s (my five-year-old) health issues weighed on me. It is so hard to see your child struggle…with ANYTHING. I never knew from day to day what we would wake up to. It felt like a tug of war emotionally. Some days I would be okay, some days not.
This particular week I felt weak in my mind and my body because of anxiety and a two-day migraine. I was reading God’s word every day, and truthfully, it was holding me together, but looking back I was entertaining every thought the enemy threw at me. Things like; “If you would just let go of the ministry you could get a job and things would be so different.” “You are qualified to do more than this.” “Is the ministry really that effective?” Every open minute I was thinking about these things. This is a trap he sets for us, mixing a little truth with his lie. And, even though I know it, I was becoming a victim.
It came to a head on Wednesday afternoon. The older boys and I went to pick the twins up from Mother’s Day out and were gone maybe 10 minutes. We came home to all the smoke alarms BLARING. I ran into the house filled with smoke. On the stove sat a piece of pizza on fire. We figured out that while we were gone the dog got on the stove and grabbed one piece, accidentally turning the burner on, leaving the remaining piece to catch on fire. It was a stinky mess. A few hours later we left for church. As I pulled into the parking lot there was a BOOM sound from under my hood, followed by smoke. I rolled into a parking space and my car died. I thought, Not again! I had just gotten it back from the shop. (The engine blew up on my way to Florida last October.)
The enemy started right away reminding me again how it could be different… I just needed to let go of the ministry. As I walked across the church parking lot, my mind and heart were heavy. I heard my phone DING. I pulled it out of my purse and read a text reminding me I owed the twins’ final school bill by the next day. I tried hard to hold back the tears, but down my face they flowed. Where in the world would that money come from? Part of me wanted that very minute to send out a text saying A Walk with God was no more.
That’s when I saw it. I couldn’t really tell what it was at first. I noticed it looked like a business card or paper of some sort lying on the ground. In my sorrow, I just stepped over it and kept walking. A few steps past it and that’s when in my spirit I heard a soft whisper say, That is for you. I stopped and turned back to look at the paper on the ground. That is for me? Once again, I felt the Holy Spirit say, Yes, that is for you. I headed back, slightly reluctant, but also eager to see what in the world God had for me lying on the ground of the church parking lot. I picked it up, turned it over, and it was Ephesians 3:20 written on a beat-up card.
GOD IS ABLE through his MIGHTY POWER at work within us, to accomplish infinitely MORE than we might ask or think.
I brought that card to my chest and just wept. Could God really have sent a message of encouragement at the very moment I needed it? Did He see my tears and hear my prayers for help? Did He see my struggle with the enemy and know I was considering giving in to his lie? I believe with my whole heart the answer is YES! Some may call it a coincidence, but I say Divine intervention.
“Let your steadfast love comfort me according to your promise to your servant.” Psalm 119:6
God cares. God sees. He is a very present help in times of trouble (Psalm 46:1).
Here is what I know:
1. GOD IS FAITHFUL!
2. IT IS ALWAYS TOO SOON TO QUIT.
If we can learn to embrace our trials as opportunities for God to show us how very much He loves us, then the enemy loses and we WIN. I want to have that kind of faith. The story doesn't end here. I'll share how God provided in the next blog.
Blessings abundant,
Rhonda
This encouraging message now sits on my desk as a reminder, "He's got this!"