It is the elephant in the room I don't want to talk about. Maybe it's my pride? Maybe it's because as a Christian I fear the stigma attached to admitting I struggle with emotional and financial issues? Maybe we haven't had enough leaders in the church stand up and say how they struggle and offer support? Maybe it's a little of all? I just know women need a place that feels safe to talk and not be judged. To be loved unconditionally. 

So I'll go first. Anxiety is my reality. Anxiety makes me afraid. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed. Most of the time my body bears the pain of my stress and anxiety. It manifests itself with a headache or the feeling of panic. The past three weeks it has "ramped" up because my five year old has been diagnosed with something called Purpura. It causes swelling of the joints and broken blood vessels under the skin. When the joints swell he can barely walk. With everything else going on, this just feels hard.

I want to be able to talk about the reality that you can love God with your whole heart and still be anxious, fearful and stressed! Because you can. And, this is what I am learning about that: God wants to use it if I will let Him. This is not to draw attention to my weakness, but to exalt that in my weakness He is strong.

2 Corinthians 12:9

I know the TRUTH. Satan talks a big game. He is powerless to do what he claims he can do. I know he only wins if I let him derail me. Satan wants to shut my mouth, and yours, from proclaiming that God is good..ALL THE TIME! I know when we are in the fire, it is hard to see those with extinguishers standing nearby. But God always sends help. I know firsthand! And he is by far my greatest help! He is Jehovah Jireh, my provider. Jehovah Roi, the God who sees. Jehovah Rapha, the God who heals. I am claiming healing for myself, and also for Denton.

I strive every day to be healthy in my body + mind + spirit. I read my Bible daily and pray without ceasing. I eat healthy, try to rest and exercise faithfully, but, for now, emotional and financial issues are something I have to deal with. As hard as it is, I am willing to be transparent. There is strength in numbers and I don't believe I am alone. I am choosing to enjoy the journey, one day at a time, even when I don't understand the process. How about you?

Blessings abundant,

Rhonda

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